Dream diary

27 December

Me and my friends (I believe it was The Moon, Ace of Wands, and Six of Cups) were going to a boba place and we were talking about the prices of Bapu Fresh. I said it was too expensive, and one of them stated the price was actually pretty fair for the amount you get. I agreed with this, but nevertheless if I wanted to get boba I would go somewhere else purely because of that initial price. They conceded to this. We ended up in this food court where we got free food from this Chinese place. I'm unsure as to the reason why, but I think it was something related to either having previously travelled to Asia or speaking an Asian language. The Moon asked me what Shanghai was and I told her it was a city.

I was then at this event that premeried the queens for the next season of Drag Race. It was in this school gym, so it had bleachers. It didn't really look like a gym until the dream progressed, where more and more of the ornamentation went away until it was truly just a gym with bleachers. They promoted House of Love cocktails, but kept stating that they were "absolutely safe and needed" which felt suspicious and weird. People around me agreed. I think the theme for the runway was yellow flowers, because most people's outfits incorporated yellow flowers. I liked the first half of the runway, but not the second half. There was a queen in a wheelchair and I was happy that they were showcasing disabled queens, except her lipsyncing and outfits were not very good. I frequently went backstage to get up to them closer, but I tried to avoid being caught by the livestream cameras so I wouldn't mess up the recording.

Going back to the front, I saw that Two of Pentacles and some girl were waiting for me. They were being kind of rude about it, and were talking about my backpack since they wanted to add something to it. The girl showed off her backpack which had a horizontal line of enamel pins that emanated this cool light. They were cool! Two of Pentacles casually deadnamed me, and used a shortened form I don't like, which made me pretty upset since there was no reason for him to know it. I didn't say anything about it.

I was the first person in a school cafeteria lunch line. It was kind of awkward because I got a salad, but they added the items and after each addition they would hand it back to me, so then I would have to rehand it back to the next lunch lady. They wouldn't ask what I wanted and some would just start adding things. I didn't know when to say "this is what I want." At the last lady she said something cryptic about ice, and I asked her to repeat because I didn't hear her. She told me to put my face on the sneeze guards to tell her which of the pans was coldest. I told her the last one was the coldest and she said it was, and that was the end of that.

I had to do a project where we put videos from our life into one video to show our progression. I realized I didn't have many videos of my life and felt that I should have been recording my life more. Trying to add videos that symbolized things but I did not record myself, like a field of yellow flowers, was not allowed.

26 December

Collins had this little everent where there was a ton of free lights, plushies, and figurines. The only rule was that you could only take enough that would fit into your backpack. I got this Sanrio-themed plushie backpack (I don't remember which character, but I know it wasn't Cinnamoroll since I was deciding between the one I chose and that one). I thought it was very cute! The Star got a large sleeping Leafeon plushie. I was also with Queen of Swords, Five of Swords, and The Wheel of Fortune. Queen of Swords and Five of Swords left us because they had their own seperate hang out, which me and The Wheel of Fortune were not invited to. We started trash talking to the two of them, but also were trash talking about them to them. They agreed.

25 December

I was outside in Vietnam and I was in front of this beautiful landscape, which was framed by a square carved into this ruin. I was wiht my dad. This lady through the hole then gave me and my friends some pottery. I asked where she got it and she said that she just made it and pointed at a hut nearby. I was thankful and took the bowl.

I went back to my hotel to change outfits, but I was entirely naked. All my clothings were outside on the balcony in the dark, but it was very peaceful and I didn't feel awkward about being naked. There was long line of women holding babies entering the hotel.

I was back in high school because I needed to take two classes to fully graduate, even though I was already in college. I also had two shifts at Panera that day but I decided I was going to no call no show since they were my last shifts anyways, even though I did pick those shifts up.

I took a walk around Promenade Park until I got to this set of bleachers. I realized it was for a men's soccer game, except one side had a ton of people and the other side had two nets with two groups that had, at max, 6 people combined. One of the guys was kicked out of the bleachers because he made other people uncomfortable by being consensually romantic with one of the players. Eight of Swords was also there and we talked.

24 December

I watched a YouTuber who did DJ sets and recorded them online. In one, there was this girl who appeared to be one of the background models, except she looked like she was at max 8 years old. She was in the recording and was yelled at to leave (I don't recall why exactly) and she started tearing a part the iron barrier in the back. She fully pulled off a beam, which resembled an electric scooter made entirely of iron. She started riding it around and then went to the cameras. Underneath each of the cameras was a small fire, and she put the iron in the fire until the iron itself caught on fire. Someone then subdued her and enveloped her in the iron until she caught on fire. Eventually, all the fire was stamped out. During it she looked extremely neutral about the whole situation.

22 December

I played Terraria, except it was extremely difficult. None of my attacks were doing anything and I was receiving a lot of damage. I rationalized this as being in Hardmode, except I was planning on fighting Deerclops and Skeletron soon. I was using a summoner build except I had no summons.

21 December

I was a part of this voluntary sleep study that was being conducted by the federal government. Before we got there, they lied and drugged us so that we would be asleep when we arrived at the facility. They told me that this drug was necessary medication for me, but I knew it had a lot of chemcials that were used in euthanasia. They made us snort it, except it had large crystals that hurt. They gave me a very large dose, but something went wrong and thus I did not fall asleep. There was then extremely loud sirens with flashing lights for about ten seconds, which was done to induce anxiety and thus to see if we were asleep or not. I ignored it which to the scientists proved that I was asleep.

I was then taken to the facility, where I overhead the lead researcher talk about what her plans for the study were. The goals sounded very prestigious. However, when I was being wheeled around I noticed that she had previosuly recorded my brain waves which matched the brain waves of people who were resisting going to sleep. They then tried to force my eyes open, which to me would've given me away that I was in fact awake.

19 December

I started screaming at my parents. The entire living room was covered with ants, except no one seemed to care about it except for me. My parents laughed it off which made me even more mad. They then deided to go do a "butter bath" (wherein they took a bath filled with hot butter), which was extremely expensive. I started screaming more about how gross and irressponsible this all was.

18 December

I was looking outside and there was a group of small dogs and a badger. My friend was feeding them, except he didn't know there was a badger. I was using the restroom and King of Swords came in, and we just started talking. I was hinting at him to leave by saying "Guess you'll just have to watch me piss"... but that's what he did. The room also had a bunch of other stuff going on and other guys started coming in, so whatever.

One of these guys I began reading his short story draft for a final, which was only half a page. The other half of the story had pics of cute animals. It was about his Discord friend group and someone they knew, not him, killing himself. It was also about being a trans man.

I read a webcomic about these two guys who had feelings for each other in high school, but never acted on their feelings. However, they meet again in college and began exploring their romance together.

14 December

I befriended this cosmic being named Haskall. It looked like a combo of Prismo and Glob from Adventure Time, as it was always kind of a shadow (as Prismo is). It made these odd yelling noises, but I interpreted them as words of affirmation. It asked if it could have some soy sauce, it's favorite food, and I said sure. I told it if it was hungry, it could come over at any time. Right when I woke up I realized I probably should've asked Strength if it could come on over...

11 December

I was friends with this Mexican guy, who I also had a crush on. He helped "shape these stocks" (?) for this one place I was at. These "stocks" were used for food production and the presentaion of the food. Weddings were also held at the place, because my friend had a wedding there. He teased The Chariot because he never says hi to him in public.

My friends and I went to a restaurant, but they kept getting the order wrong

(Note: I have no idea what the "stocks" is in reference to...)

8 December

I was watching Dragula and there was a scene at the end of one of the episodes, wherein they kept throwing water at a contestant, because she always presented herself as perfect and flawless. By throwing water at her, they said that this is the most filthy and horror she has ever been on the show.

I went to Page of Cup's apartment, which was in [apartment], except everything was hardwood and regal. Everything had a very fresh glossy veneer.

28 November

He was pretty cute, so we began talking. He was very sexual, but was into this TTS creative movement. I wasn't entirely sure what it was all about, but he kept noting that he wished more companies offered TTS. At no point did it actually feel like he was referring to text-to-speech, despite us directly saying that is what TTS is. Nevertheless, I found him easy to talk to.

I was back in show choir, and we began singing a song. I had absolutely zero idea how it went... so I guessed on every single note. I thought everyone around me was getting annoyed as a result.

24 November

I was at some general body meeting for Model UN, or show choir, or tennis (it kept changing). I was able to walk around the school and I had to do a fetch quest.

10 November

"Do not let the Melbourne petting zoo and Wilson's invasive cryptid army." (note: no idea what this means)

There was something about the Melbourne cryptid department getting it's budget cut.

I was in prison for three years and I never knew why.

5 November

I had randomly gone outside and murdered one of my neighbor's for no particular reason. I think I hid the body, but it was later found and reburied. It might have been a teacher as we were in a university graveyard. Me and my friends were talking about it and how tragic it was. However, my phone wallpaper was all guns and I was scared that would show that I was the culprit. My friends also had gun-based wallpapers so I was thinking about framing them if the time came. I realized there was certainly cameras on the street so it was a matter of time before I got caught. I got so anxious and scared and disgusted, but I comforted myself in realizing that this was all a dream and thus there was no consequence.

3 November

There was a cabinet meeting but it was open to the public. Every phone had alarms going off, and it was greatly annoying Trump. It turned out to be a bug on phones that made the alarms not go off, but he assumed that it was CNN trying to make him look back. All the male staffers were gay and it made me very confused on why they were working for Trump.

A grandma of mine was very energetic and wanted to do a square dance with me. During this, the roof gott urned into piano tiles, so when doves landed it would make music. They turned into peacocks and some people also went up there. It sounded really good! I didn't do the square dancing well, but she was going very fast and made wide steps.

I then went back to my family, which also included a Chinese-Korean family that we were really close with. I was a bit too loud and one of my friends said "Hey, be a lil quieter," I said "Oh, it's ok cuz the baby is awake anyways," and she said "ture but she's also asleep" (referring to a 6 year old nearby). I agreed, but viewed it as not as a huge priority. The great-grandmother texted me saying "... RUDE TO GRANDCHILD..."

25 October

I went to a screening of Rocky Horror. I was trying to get weed before hand. I lived in a cave with many jewels, but it was a public area. My bedroom was in a smaller attached cave, but it had no doors. It was still very beautiful.

24 October

I was with The Devil and Ten of Wands. We were at a Pokémon festival that Fort Wayne held. There was a lot of water, I think it recently rained, as a lot of people were rafting on the water. At certain points the water was actually rising, which Strength told me was natural, yet this was a high amount.

Somehow, I ended up back home, where I then used my phone's GPS to navigate with my friends. I was nowhere near them, but a fake me was walking with them. Fake me then turned into a Machamp that was swatting at them. I decided to go back and tell them about this. Their GPS said they were now near my house, except I forgot to put on socks and shoes. This strange, new IAL (international auxiliary language) app said they were frustrated at me via an audio message (it translated from the IAL to English). As I was leaving, my dad said he'd want this shrimp butternaught squash with "true essence". I left, but outside was pitch black. I couldn't see them, but turning on my flashlight I saw them coming lcoser with their flashlights. However, it wasn't them. It was these two girls acting strangely. I asked if they saw The Devil and Ten of Wands, but they said "nooooo....." yet told me to follow them. I did, and they gav eme a large lollipop. I inferred from this that the lollipop were laced and The Devil and Ten of Wands were kidnapped.

I arrived at their location, which was my house. I sprinted away and saw Three of Cups. I quickly realized this was all fake and was in fact for a Halloween video project.

I was in Dr. C's study abroad class and it was the final day. One person came in with a skirt that had fake dead foxes on it, and Dr. C asked her to leave. She kept asking, but only stopped when the girl said she was vegan.

I got some books about redesigning German, but the seller was mean to me when he thought it was secular German. I got a wizard book for my dad.

23 October

I was in my Philosophy of Law class, but the room was set up like a dorm room. We did this mold pouring thing, but I got acrylic paint (which were used to pour) everywhere. Afterwards, we talked about how we felt about the class, except the whole time I was talking to Three of Pentacles.

21 September

Me and The High Priestess got really into a sport called Christian bowling. It's done in churches in three connected bowl shaped areas, with each taller than the last. There's five people in each round. I was not sure on how you could move the ball since you weren't allowed to kick or throw the ball, which was a bowling ball, nor did I know how to score. We were watching these middle or high school boys play, which was the most popular divison. It got really heated and one guy wanted to fight, but the other guy picked him up by the scruff and threw him out the area.

9 September

I was in a love triangle between Page of Cups and Eight of Swords.

3 September

In the dream, I recalled a YouTube series that I used to watch about a very quiet day-in-the-life blogger in Italy. All the vlogs were extremely peaceful and managed to replicate very obscure emotions. You'd feel like you were trying to figure out the bus system at dark, or standing at the edge of water and gazing across it.

I talked with Seven of Pentacles, who was actually married to a guy. The guy was European, a horseback rider, and at a top med school. There were pics of them together in Europe, and Seven of Pentacles seemed so cool and happy. I felt sad and jealous that my life could never be like this. I reflected on my childhood and that I learned nothing during it. It wasn't fair.

I was with Nine of Pentacles. This group of four guys, probably middle to high school aged, began following us, even though we were in a car. They kept saying homophobic slurs and that there should be a genocide against gay people. At some point, I was out of the car and the leader stabbed a fork at my hand and told me to bring them all to my house. I did, and when I was there he pulled out a kitchen knife. I knocked it off of him, but he kept pulling out more knives. I managed to get a kitchen knife and I sliced his hand, then stabbed him in the upper chest lightly. They stopped once that happened. I attempted to call 911, but at first I yelled at my mom to do so. She didn't seem to care. 911 would not pick up, and when they did they thought nothing could be done and I should try being nicer. I was really mad and eventually convinced the police to come, but I don't think they ever did.

31 August

I watched a video of this influencer named Laura. She was super popular, but she did a video on camping where a green tarp kept falling on her. I think she figured it out in the end!

27 August

I wrote a poem that went:

And the dharma declined dear Ananda
Through no fault of the Buddha
Way of things

It was something about comparing architecture decay to dharma decline.

16 August

There was an orientation at my university. There was a tour for these frat and sorority freshmen, and I ended up going with them. Apparently my university now had a ton of graves and mausoleums.

15 August

I went to GameStop, which were selling mint quality 3DS for $30. I was sad because I hadn't received my disbursement, so I couldn't buy it.

I was with a person who looked like my dad, but wasn't, and he was in his room. We interviewed a person who said they were this dog creature, but it turned out they were in on of the drawers, yet I never found them. I only knew they were in there because I accidentally closed one of the drawers, and then the voices volume and clarity greatly decreased.

12 August

I began volunteering for HLS with L, even though I already worked there. People thought it was impressive, however! Y was also there but she went full alt appearance-wise.

11 August

I played Sims 4 and downloaded mods.

I had classes. I went to a Vietnamese store with my dad and it was good. We came back later, but 楊老師 was also there. I guess she knew I would be there, since I joined her table and some other poeple joined. We were at table 13, but my dad said we shouldn't go to that table yet because the tables after 13 were ready to be seated. I sat down regardless, which seemed to be the correct deicison. At some point while looking at the menu everything went black, then there was a loud screech light, black again, and then back to normal. Everyone noticed it but nothing came of it.

I and these group of people attended this talk on the history of Amish cooking. Getting into the building, we had to sign in. I signed in, but they said I couldn't enter because of the wishes of someone else: "Marilyn Church said she was tired of Coinbanes and the mess that follows them". Coinbane was my last name now, and hearing that I knew it referred exclusively to me. I said that the name of the woman was strange and asked if she was an elderly woman and if she was the mother to my grandma, with it being yes to both. I said that she died 10 years ago, and thus she shouldn't be here. They were dismissive, but after pestering them more thye let me in.

Instead of the aforementioned talk, it was actually a game. Each round had 16 smaller rounds. it was basically arm wrestling. Apparently, you could get spells and charms to use but I had no idea what they meant. The dream ended before the end of the game, but I knew that my goal (and it was fate for it to be so) was to win the whole thing because no one believed in me. My final opponent was my Uncle. Wins were kept by using broken spaghetti.

10 August

I was at university and outside. I went on a walk with The High Priestess, and someone yelled "gay!" at us. I explained to him that this is 6 for 6 of me walking with a male friend and someone yelling gay at us.

I prepared to make matcha, but forgot about it. I remember it, and my sister made herself some as I heated water up. She thought it tasted really weird, and I explained that it kinda just tasted like grass and that's why I like it.

I saw a video about how places never use whole milk but it's actually half-and-half with oregano syrup. I thought the video was stupid and made fun of it.

9 August

I was with Three of Swords at my house. We were playing a game of D&D (just the two of us), when a third person arrived. We knew him within the lore of the dream, but he forced us outside. He planned on killing us, but kept setting stuff up and doing monologues. Apparently he did not like what our characters were doing, as it impacted his cahracter negatively, and so he decided to kill us. Suddenly, two people came outside and I shouted that he was trying to mruder us. I sprinted away. I survived the encounter, but I'm not sure if others did. Outside, I kept running until I saw a police officer. I told him what happened, but the way I said it made it seemed absolutely unbelievable and he told me off. I then called 911 and they believed me. I went back home and I gave a testimony to a woman who made me play some games (potentially as a psych eval), with one of them being coloring in Drag Race dresses.

I worked at the farmers' market. Today was my first day by myself, but it had been a bit since I last worked so I forgot everything. While setting up, this woman came over and started perusing. This stressed me out as I hadn't started setting things up and establishing prices. She was nice, though, and wanted to buy this small potato plant that, although very small, apparently had 2 more days until it matured. Neither of us particularly believed this. While I was trying to see waht the price was, she then told me some questions to ask her as it would be helpful next time when I'm trying to sell something. One of the questions were "Do you have food allergies?" or "Are you Jewish?" (in order to see if they ate kosher); other questions were more personal, like where you are from. I asked if she was allergic to potatoes and she jokingly said "Yes, deathly," and knowing she was lying, we began bantering. I think I then gave her the plant for free, and then she left.

While setting up, I had to set up an enclosure of cockroaches out of a bag. It was a bag of rice, except it was filled to the brim with larva and then soem adults. The adults were escaping during it and it was very gross. It reminded me of a dream that I previously had (no idea if this is true) that I tried to set up a cockroach enclousre, but I was too scared to do it and now I believed I could do it. I didn't do it.

I was in Japan with a friend and we went out ot eat. My friend was scolded because the last time we went there the food we bought was "too messy" (a donut), but they sold it to us again which was confusing. It wasn't that what we ate too messy, but the food was too messy. They told us if we were too messy again, we would be banned.

I was now with a group of friends from church. I was setting up this cannon for fireworks by putting in gunpowder in a very specific fashion. A ton of people watched me do this, but I just couldn't make it work. The older women helping me were obviously disappointed, but I just wanted to get it over with. At the end we all sang a hymn and then the fireworks started going off, but the fireworks went sidways instead of going up. One hit a car, which burst into flames, so we booked it. This continued to happen but we got into a place of safety, which was an older building. Peering out of the building, I watched the car on fire and turns out there were people in there who burned alive. They were taking out and all the bodies of the disaster which totalled 500, until their ghosts started singing at us in a choir. I felt conflicted because on one hand I did cause it by adding the gunpowder, but also I was forced to do it. The scnee changed and it became a musical that I was watching about turning away from Jesus for Caodaism. I left the room I was in, which was now very comfy and luxurious, and people complimented my abilities during all this.

8 August

Summer Language Workshop was ongoing, but unlike in real life I was actually really motivated to wake up super early. I woke up at 5AM daily. Nine of Pentacles also did this and we became good friends, but Eight of Cups and our fourth roommate did not.

My dad was stressed because my sister, me, and a new sister were being difficult. They were complaining the whole time because the new sister didn't get some hyper specific food and my real sister didn't get bug bites while she slept (apparently she loves getting bug bites while she sleeps). I told my parents taht I think I've gotten better at not complaining because I don't care anymore and that I call other people out quickly.

I don't remember the specifics but something funny happening resulted in me waking up laughing.

7 August

I got a rare Indiana $1 coin that was minted by the state. Apparently, someone I knew was so into coin collecting that they would go into conflict zones just to get that area's new coinage.

I was at university. I was talking with The Wheel of Fortune and The Devil separately. For some reason the two of them were shit talking each other to me, even though they acted as if they were friends.

6 August

I was in this very tall building. Chinese Flagship had an event in there, but I lost them. I saw general Chinese classes so I followed them. They were doing a different event. The floors were very unstable and connected via a rope bridge, and I kept thinking I would fall off. The Devil came up with drinks and I followed her since she was also a Flagship, but I was wondering why no one was texting me where I was at. On the 8th floor there was a fancy lounge that led outside. I waited in there for her as a mother recounted a story to her 3 year old daughter the time when the daughter almost died at Grand Canyon, but saved herself.

I got my grade back for the LSAT and I got 10 points worse than I had last time (with the points being out of 100) so I was very devastated. The Devil left without me and I tried to follow, but I ended up on the wrong floor with this blue blob monster. The blob was a uniform light blue and had no texture to it. It had small black eyes and a huge trunk. While were in the elvator together, I looked away and I could tell it was staring at me intensely. I tried to wake up, but the creature said that it wasn't in my dreams at all and it was staring at me in real life. I couldn't escape.

My university had so many students that the incoming freshman class was divided into 538 classes with 113 people each.

5 August

I had some important hereditary political position. My friend (or lover?) did something that was not bad but it was slighlty embarrassing. My parents used it as an opportunity to show my superiority, which I didn't like. They then started showing off the faults I had and why they were great.

4 August

I watched the premier episode of a new season of SpongeBob. The first part was kind of normal, with SpongeBob forgetting how to sing. The second half was not. We were in a small rural town in England surrounded by bluffs. They had a zoo, and I was outside looking at the animal. I saw a black panther trying to escape and it did. I started running and told Two of Cups about this, as he worked there. Me and my friends, who were sometimes the SpongeBob characters, went to a safe house. There, the workers had to tell everyone that not everyone was going to make it, since they didn't have enough rooms for escape on the train. Nevertheless, me and my friends got into one as we fought people to get into it. We could hear outside people being killed by animals. My perspective moved outside, where people were patrolling but not scared. People started singing the Star Spangled Banner, which seemed to stave off the animals, except cards began falling out of the sky and killing people. It then cut to a gag of a guy who was in a car and being thrown around, but during this he was talking to his mom casually as his wife and children got killed. He then got thrown into the ocean, but he just went "Oops! Guess this is the end for me, love you." The train also entered underwater and the doors opened, except water didn't flood in. Instead, giant lips of a fish could be seen and began spouting water at us.

I hadn't been doing my calculus homework, and I realized I would fail the class if I didn't get the whole week done tonight.

I went into a farmers' market and accidentally stole a whole plant. Prior, I went to a grocery store and accidentally got into the baby checkout line (the scanner to see if you stole anything was the size of a baby carriage, and I had to duck through it). I thought I wasn't meant to be there, but everyone yelled at me to keep going forward anyways. I accidentally used my student card to pay for it and realized I would be in debt as a result.

2 August

There was this super cool website that allowed extremely in-depth character building with relations between different people's characters. However, it was exclusively fanfic of former president James Madison and you could only participate if you made a James Madison AU character.

1 August

I was eating dinner with this group of friends and we began talking about our COVID experiences. I brought up a really nice Thanksgiving I had and the people I was talking to became family members. Great-grandma Church was there. When we left, my dad said this is probably the last time I'll ever see you. She agreed. I then hugged her and she asked me why, I said I didn't know you that well in this life, but I wish I could've.

22 July

I was talking with Ten of Swords and it was very dark. He wasn't fully listening and then left. He comes back and says 早zǎo上shàng好hǎo, and I laugh, but he was confused. Apparently, he thought he just woke up and didn't remember our conversation.

19 June

An elderly small woman was selling mangoes and would cut them. I asked her for one and she agreed, but I asked how she knows what the best mango is. She got confused and began asking people for help translating. Most people ignored her except for this really young Burmese monk. It then entered a sequence where it's him magical girl style making the ingredients to a ramen. I began sobbing hard. After he did each part, it unlocked a memory in both me and the old woman.

10 June

Me and Ten of Swords were wandering around. What ended up happening was that no one liked him no matter what, although it was more or less not his fault or not that big. We were at this mini movie screening that was in this very lit room. This WASP mom with 9 kids came in and told Ten of Swords to get off his phone, but I said it was fine. We walked somewhere and a drunk man behind us thought we were a couple and started accosting us. Inside the dorm, which was more of a big common area with connecting rooms, Ten of Swords used the intercom to contact me. He was then yelled at to not use the intercom if you aren't contacting the front desk.

4 June

Me and a girl I was friends wtih had a kid together. We didn't want a kid, but The World and Page of Pentacles wanted one, so The World took the baby. This set in a motion a series of events that ended up in me accidentally killing her. We didn't like each other and would fight, but joked around during it. One time we were at a place and I got left behind. She made fun of me, so I pushed her. She tried to retalitate, but I hit her down the staircase multiple times, which cracked her skull and her neck.

2 June

I went to this museum that was owned by this Buddhist group, except it had a confession box. I tested it out and it called the lead priest, which I found weird since Buddhism doesn't do confession.

1 June

Ever since I was a child I had been stalked by this one guy. It began when I was outside in kindergarten where he talked to me and it continued form there. I never fully saw him, or if it was even the same guy, but I would see him sometimes in my backyard, just standing in the corner and staring in through the window. One time while my parents were away he tried to enter my house but didn't. One time while setting up Christmas ornaments, he was outside trying to open the door (which was unlocked) and I had my hand on the handle trying to prevent him from entering. It was extremely intense and terrifying. He stopped when he realized I caught on. I was telling my parents about this, when this video game event occurred with a tooltip appearing saying "Sharing things can cause paranoia!". All the people in my house, which there were many, got put outside. All the grass was brown and there was a heavy fog, with all of them looking like Ethel Cain in the Punish music video. They all went back inside, except for this one girl who I could not tell if she was a monster or not. She refused to go inside. This all started because the stalker was trying the door handle and I was preventing his entry again, except I wasn't able to close the door nor lock it; we were at a stalemate where the door was very slightly ajar. It turns out that in this instance it was not the stalker, but my parents. I told them everything. Apparently they knew about this because I stated "remember when I was stalked?" and my dad called him the "ping pong guy" because he would throw ping pong balls at the house.

I was on some trip at various hotels. It was like my trip to Mexico except I was with Dr. S. There was this one guy who acted as the photographer and I kept telling him to not take pictues of me, except he kept going against those wishes and it made me very uncomfortable. We were in a region outside of Bangkok and it was very pretty. When we went back to the States, we were still in a hotel, except I was now in a boy group with three other people. We were all from South Korea and had a homoerotic relationship with each other. We all slept in the same bed, but one of them was nervous that someone was knocking on the door, but I explained that the noise was too far away to be on our door.

25 May

I was with five other people in this video game. There was an overarching mystery which I don't remember, but every person had a deep secret and a crush on another character. This resulted in us trying to solve on the big mystery, but people instead acted out on either their romance or trying to learn another person's secret. For example, one of the guys learned another guy was filthy rich and keeping it all hidden in a vault in the forest. This was next to his lodging. People used minor explosives to open up the safe, but the guy who wanted the money set up dynamite in order to access it. It all exploded and the rich guy died... except it turned out that wasn't his secret at all and all the money was fake.

20 May

I was in Mexico. I killed myself and I was trying to figure out how I could het back alive. It involved me needing to get back together with Two of Cups, so we had a heart-to-heart about our past relationship. He was also dead.

9 May

I went to a fast food place and Two of Cups was there. I wanted it to be real very bad so I could talk to him again and we would begin dating again.

23 April

I went on a date with this guy at his apartment. I was not interested in him at all, but he was obsessed with me. He was planning on killing his neighbor and had planned it all out. I wa snervous on if I should call the FBI, because he would know I was the one who outed him and then would come and kill me. My friends thought he was weird, so I was trying to talk to each of them one-on-one about my dilemma, except he was always nearby and I couldn't do it.

15 April

I had a consecutive series of rage dreams where I was just very angry the whole time and wanted to destroy everything. I was in Japanese 101 and didn't know anything. The instructor made fun of me in front of the class and I stormed out. She followed and brought another faculty member to talk with me, but they downplayed my issue and that it was all my fault. At the same time, I was meant to be going to my paternal cousin's wedding but it was outside. My parents were on vacation and my sister avoided it, so I knew no one at the wedding and began freaking out and lashing out at people.

I went to a club interview and Two of Cups there. It went fine, but he left after with someone. I got salty and he reminded me that we were not dating and that he absolutely did not want to get back together.

1 April

I went back to Fort Wayne to go hiking. It was around 9PM, but I was waiting for The Chariot to get there, since he was coming to America but was still 2 hours away.

30 March

I was a fan of this yaoi that was know for its amazing plot line and character development. I knew it started from a VOCALOID song, but I could not find it.

The plot was that these two guys were in this post-apocalypse setting, living in a huge manor which, as far as they knew, were where all surviving humans lived. Supplies were getting low and there was huge fighting over alcohol, as only one type remained. The chefs were rationing it out to one tablespoon per person.

14 March

I had a girlfriend who would be mad at things I had no idea about. She was actually some demon monster that could not have photos taken of her. I took a lot of pictures of her with my Olympus Xa3. I recognized that me hitting the power button for the shutter was some sort of foreshadowing.

Queen of Cups was there and had a monster with her. Everyone had to read out something that very long that they wrote. If she didn't like it, we would be eaten by the monster.

8 March

My sister had three dogs and if something activated the dogs, they would become a demon and eat people.

21 February

There was a Model UN crisis that was a murder mystery, except you didn't know your part in the story. Around the building, there was hidden clues that revealed something suspicious about your background. You still had to write directives and do backroom.

14 February

I was a member of a Taiwanese political party.

13 February

Trump implemented a ceremony called "Burning the Threads." A cotton form of the Constitution was created and then burned.

I went to Japan for study abroad, but had a hard time since I didn't speak any Japanese.

3 February

I was at dinner with my two cousins and my grandparents. As the scene progressed their identities changed as well. Any time someone made a joke about Jesus, my grandfather got very angry and would make transphobic remarks. At one point, I got so mad and I started yelling at him about how rude and evil he was, even though he was my grandfather and I knew I shouldn't yell at him because of that. He yelled back and started saying even worse things about how much he hates all the women in the family. It then escalated into a full on brawl with him being ganged up on. As a result, a guy kept trying to pull the fire alarm which would've called the police. However, my grandfather was black I didn't want the police to arrive because they mgiht have killed him. This didn't matter because a girl took a gun and killed him anyways. Everyone immediately stopped and was in shock, while she explained how we could leave. Someone immediately took over as leader and started passing these bills. I thought that the people with me were also American political leaders. Throughout this, there was a tension between two groups. One was a table eating stake which had older people sitting there, while there was another table with younger people around my age, which I was a part of.

The killer explained that she was contacted by this supernatural being to do this. The entity began speaking, which surprised everyone because they thought it wouldn't be able to reply to you with communication. Everyone who was at that table was being contacted by that entity.

28 January

Two of Cups came down to Bloomington. He came out as trans and started using she/her pronouns and that she was now on estrogen. She went by Dates now, but that was still to be determined. When we first saw us we kissed and snuggled, but we didn't go back to my place because Strength was sleeping. Before coming over she stated that she only wanted us to have our shirts off and that would be the extent of it.

After, I was a little sad that she came out because I liked her for her masculinity and that it was proof things would be over between us. Being together would have been unfair to her and her journey.

26 January

The Chariot came down to Bloomington. When got here we snuggled for a bit, which felt really nice, except I couldn't tell if it was romantic or not. I spent 50% of the time trying to figure out how to get a bus pass for him to use.

22 January

I knew I was in a dream and I was with The Sun after a show choir event. I asked her if she was truly The Sun and Dream The Sun said yes. I said if I asked The Sun in real life if she had this dream would she say yes, and it just started laughing and walking away from me. I felt like it was another supernatural creature. She then started trying to tell me a horror story so I forced myself awake.

21 July

This dream is a part of much longer series of dreams that I am not sure I ever actually had. It is a Webcomic that I can only read when I am dreaming. When I was dream journaling within the dream, I used the marker EVE to find to it later. The plot of the Webcomic is as follows.

This guy is investigating this dude in his underground bunker. There's a computer which was the main attraction. I played three games which this bunker guy invented. The room itself was very small. It had a desk and the computer was not ancient, but it wasn't ancient by any means. I had a phone on me. I checked through it to see the bunker man's messages, and he was attracted to this other guy which was the primary plot point. I knew that it would distract me from what I needed to get done within the dream, so I destroyed the phone. The rest of the room was a small bed that was only a mattress, blanket, and pillow, and it did not look comfortable. It was raised high in order to access the underground tunnel hatch underneath the bed. The room was extremely cramped.

The games were all low poly. The first game was there was monsters you had to fight in a raid/wave-like format. I was really bad at it, and recalled that every time I had this dream I was always bad at it.

I don't recall what the game was, but the third game had me on a train and I had to destroy things but throwing them out of a window on time. The main villains were Ally Beardsley and Chappell Roan. I was joking with them, but they were also trying to kill me. Five of Wands was also there. Before getting on the train, I had to talk to these two trans guys that I was very good friends with. They were also important to the plot. They were friends with each other, but in order to advance the plot I had to misgender them which made me feel very shitty.

I knew what was meant to be done after I completed the games; after all, its what I had to do every time I had the dream. I go under the bed to the secret tunnel, and see a low poly woman working on something. That section of the dream ended there, but I remember being scared upon seeing the woman.

Finding the webcomic creator after episode 130, I went into her DMs to tell her about how much I like the comic. Apparently I had already messaged her a decade earlier to tell her about how much I like this comic and how I can only read it when I'm reading.

There was a Chinese woman who lived in the community who did something that made her famous, yet she lived the rest of her life in obscurity. She made food for the community. Her daughter helped out the bunker guy at some point. I just remember that the mom was very important to the plot and the guy's psyche. I made a promise to the daughter that I would return to China with her once we got our lives sorted; it felt very romantic and like we were in a relationship. While doing this, I was also reading a textbook on facial anatomy. I then dream journaled.

Outside of the webcomic, I could still only think about it. Anyways, I want to this audition for a play which was already a part of a larger existing play I was in with Chappell Roan. We had to sing a song from The Addams Family Musical. The girl next to me had some difficulties in comprehending, which the director explained was the result of her being ESL. In actuality, English was her 7th language. She was originally from Thailand and I knew that she spoke Thai, Cornish, Korean, and Spanish fluently.

2 March

My parents left me at home by myself and wouldn't respond to my texts for days. I thought they abandoned me and I told people that they were going to murder me, but my sister said I was being dramatic.

Ace of Wands texted me taht she fell in love with me, but I was mad because I thought it was from Ace of Pentacles and got excited.

The majority of the dream took place in this one house where I took dance lessons. The building was in a colonial style and you had to check in at this little window at the side of the building. There was a girl who had her feet up on the windowsill. I walked over and said hi and she quickly put her feet down and apologized. I signed in while she told me that the teacher was her father.

Going inside, I met with my teacher who was a lesbian. The class was for cooking and she told me that she was in love with one of her coworkers, but it would not work out because they worked together. She then taught me piano because it would improve the taste of the food.

I was able to get on this new computer ARG which was based off an AI. It was really interesting. It was in early access and the only way to enter was via the AI chatbot.

I worked at Starbucks and the location was actually really pretty. I stole some money to repay for something, which made the cash register off 20 cents. The register got counted at the end of the day, so it wasn't my problem and I wouldn't be blamed ofr it.

Everyone either in show choir or the school had to clear out an entire Walmart's stock. It was very hard and stressful as there was so much stuff. To navigate, you had to climb on top of things and then throw them away. A tone point, I had a bag of flour but it ripped and spilled out. I kept walking and felt bad because people already swept and mopped and now they would have to redo it.

I was meant to perform for solo comp with a particular song, but they wouldn't let me practice. I got mad and then threw my sheet music into the air while I was in the bleachers. It became about a million different pieces and I had to clean them all up. Everyone was talking about it.

My family went to this Vietnamese-Italian fusion restaurant that also served as a photo shoot location for fashion. The bubble tea had a ton of boba pearls in it, but they were all really tiny and reminded me of frog eggs. There were a bunch of different comics sold there, but a lot of them were just yaoi

I watched a TikTok of a baby in a washing machine with a ton of crayfish. I saw the behind the scenes of the video which explained it was a metaphor about living through difficulties.

18 April

I played a game about making the world better but also living life as a Muslim. I cried a lot playing the game. It had two endings. Int he first one, it was where the year 2000 was much better than in reality, and in the other ending it wasn't. We went to multiple locations, such as Sonya which was a light blue drag bar where there was a lot of singing. Two of Wands told me how to do "Muslim poses", which was just yoga.

I went to a mall in Japan, where each section had a theme. In one the lights turned off and people wore neon clothing on a runway.

10 April

Evangelicals came to my house to convert me, but got scared by the technology. I had to call the police to get them to leave.

8 April

I had weed and everyone in my room was floating around. When you take weed, you see the moon differently. For me it was called the SIlver Ring and the entire moon was black except for a silver ring around it. It scared me a lot and every time I saw the moon I got filled with immense panic.

9 February

An airplane kept hitting my house and killing me.

5 February

I had an online friend that moved to my hometown from Boston. His name was Nathan and he was a musician. They were really good at music and we went outside to stare at the stars together. I had a crush on him.

29 December

Trixie, Katya, and Drag Race S13 queens performed at my school, but people were being rude to them. I got free Trixie and Katya merch. Katya looked like a hellish being because all of her limbs were unnaturally stretched.

5 December

There was a reoccurring motif character who would mess up each of the scenarios. In the dream I was playing a game with a selection menu. The first dream was a video of Canadian airplanes that symbolized Canada and China entered into an alliance. I don't recall the second dream. The third dream started with the message "Have you witnessed a murder?" Me and four other people left the roomm we were in. They all went to another room except for me and a girl named Jodie as we both stood in the doorway. We kept hearing the sound of cellophane wraps and realized that this was the murder part. We hear screaming and it turned into a combat menu, with the bottom of the screen having a list of every event that was going to happen. The murdered person would not die and kept taunting the people killing him. The reoccuring motif character then glitched everything out.

I went to dinner with two maikos and we had a good meal!

I was at a WASP family's house helping them unwrap Christmas gifts, but they had to do challenges which really wenre't challenges at all.